My husband and I experience this period of insecurity during our treatment so differently
Support and prop
Michelle looks stunned and looks at Dave. ‘That explains your enormous back pain.’ ‘The second thing that goes wrong and that Michelle is experiencing, is that if you – as her partner – do not share your emotions, alienation sets in. It has already gotten so far that Michelle thought that you didn’t want a baby so badly.’
‘With all your good intentions you just created a split in the relationship’, I respond. ‘It is also your sorrow. You deserve just as much attention as your wife.’
A tip: If you and your partner are in this process, ask each other regularly, how are you feeling about the fact that we are not pregnant yet? How do you think the treatment is going? How do you deal with disappointments? What gives you hope? What can I do for you?
I feel quite stupid and I am ashamed, I should be able to handle my fertility treatment in a much better way.
The feeling of shame
Don’t base your opinions and feelings on stories you didn’t hear directly from the people who are experiencing them. Everyone has their own story and experiences, of course. But someone who has been in the process for a long time and has faced disappointments will never tell you that is has been easy. Don’t get distracted by the stories of others, focus on how it feels to you and what you can do to keep moving forward.
The sense of faillure
To talk about this openly is a good starting point. Good to have you here, Susan.
The only correct advice you get is answering the question, what do I want for myself?
Distraction that suits you
Longing for a positive test
It is not easy. After those 2 weeks, the news literally determines lives. During those days the time creeps by to the final outcome.
Don’t think about it!
It is the same as saying to yourself, don’t think about a pink elephant, although it’s in your living room the whole day, or in the office at your desk, swaying its trunk. So you can think about it, just give it some space.
Create positive experiences
I have thought everything through myself, and if I need advice, I will ask a professional.